A Christmas Star…. @Ivan_Jelical #OMFG

Have been trying to find the words to describe this video.. I have watched the contents unfold over the past 24 days with a mixture of horror, dread and total, unequivocal glee ūüėÄ ūüėĬ†¬†

Ms H Cushion proudly presents “Ivan_Jelical’s Advent Aventure”

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Surely a YouTube star in the making ; )

The Hair-Mare Before Christmas..

That’s it, snuggle up and I’ll tell you a story all about a very silly girl named Humphrey…

*Why* do we do it? Or is it just me?¬† Is it my mistrust and hatred of hairdressers, my arrogant belief¬†in my own abilities, being totally skint¬†or just plain stupidity that guided my hand to the DIY hair colour kit?¬†¬† I have been here before of course, show me a woman who hasn’t¬†totally ruined her hair/dating opportunities/life and I will show you a woman who doesn’t¬†like chocolate¬†nor¬†secretly wish Michael Buble¬†is singing “just havent met you yet” to her… yeah, that’s right – she doesn’t exist.

Why is it always at an important time?  No way I could ruin my hair just before..erm.. nothing at all !  It is ALWAYS just before a wedding/re-union/Christmas-New Year or the meeting of the-most-splendid-man-in the-world-ever for the first time.

I really don’t¬†enjoy the hairdressers though I know we are “supposed” to.. It may just be me but I *always* wash and style my hair before I enter the coven, full make-up on and usually a nice top.. its ridiculous but I have a theory that if I go in looking a mess, I will come out looking a mess..¬† I hate the basins which make your neck go numb, the assistant who washes your hair without seeming to make contact with it at all (yet you still feel obliged to tip her, aghh) and the coffee which always smells divine but you can’t quite reach it.. and if you do, it will be full of little¬†bits of your chopped locks.

The other thing I really hate about the hairdressers is that they cannot read my mind.. grrrr..¬† Of course I want to look like Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore or Jennifer Aniston¬†when I leave, why cant¬†they just work that out/do it and WHY can’t I just tell them what *I* want? “Do whatever YOU think”.. “What would suit me?”, “Really? Pink streaks and a perm?¬† Well, if you say so.. ”

So anyway, this year’s disaster was prompted by my 16-year-old¬†declaring loudly in Tesco’s¬†that I look really old now¬†as my hair is so grey under the lights.. After checking the bank I realised that spending anything up to 80 quid on my hair this side of Christmas was not only incredibly selfish but nigh-on impossible.¬†¬†Yes, you heard me 80¬†QUID!!¬†¬†You fella’s get off lightly with your ¬£6¬†“Shave-It-All-Off-I’m-Going-Bald-Anyway” look. I digress..¬†over the past¬†few weeks I have put streaks of 3 different colours into said horrid daughter’s hair and they looked lovely.. really subtle, professional even, so what could go wrong?¬† I *am* WOMAN!…¬†

I *am* NUMPTY…¬† first attempt left me with caramel and peach streaks.. although I was really proud of the streaks themselves, not easy to put foils in yourself!¬† *waits for applause* ¬†So, onto stage 2/3/4 & 5… finally I am left with caramel and primrose yellow.. and that’s how they will stay* until I either come into money, shave it all off or wake up and it’s all been a terrible dream…

*Disclaimer:¬† I did save** a little of the last box of highlights “just in case”

** Stop me FFS

Heads I Win…

Since 1840 the Monarchy’s head has appeared on British stamps, one attempt by Tony Benn in 1965 to change that failed..¬†Now, just 8 months into our Coalition government,¬†Royal Mail is up¬†for sale and the back of our Monarch’s head could be licked for the last time.¬†¬†Whilst images of bright orange Tango or Easy Jet’d¬†post boxes and¬†vans spring horrifically to mind,¬†¬†the Coalition blame Labour, Labour blame the Coalition, Labour/Coalition, Coalition/Labour… lets call the whole thing off….

Personally, I am surprised by the government’s epic failure to protect the status quo, however it does leave Ms Cushion with a marvellous opportunity ; )

Thanks to @johnrisby for the stamp link ; )

Nobody puts Humph in the corner..

Origins of names.. Smith.. Baker.. Butcher.. common names, given to represent the person’s employment.. “John The Smithy” became John Smith.. “Tom the Cooper”, Tommy Cooper… well, not “that” one, but you catch my drift?

Pirates used “handles”.. Long John Silver, Blackbeard and so on which became part of¬†our popular culture in¬†1881 with the appearance of Robert Louis Stevenson‘s Treasure Island.”

More recently came CB radio.. “How to Chose a CB radio Handle”.. ¬†“Part of the fun of selecting a handle is doing some soul-searching. Be guided by a name that is a reflection of your identity. Select a CB handle that is an extension of your inner persona ”

Even pop-stars have been known to partake.. *looks towards Ringo Starr and Alvin Stardust¬†with amusement* This season’s¬† X-Factor had a contestant “Storm” whose name was objected to by Simon Cowell.. Why? Where is the harm in expressing yourself with an alter-ego or nick-name?

Now of course, we use “special names” ¬†on my beloved Twitter..¬† I have a “thing” about avatars as you may have noticed but also about Twitter names.¬† You can be whoever or whatever you want to be on Twitter.. I am very good friends with a gerbil and a bear right now but amongst my friends I can also count fake celebrities and politicians and just ordinary people who prefer to keep their identity private for personal or employment reasons.¬† We have all heard¬†horror stories about employers¬†and potential employers “stalking” employees via social media sites such as Facebook and¬†Bebo.¬†

A Twitter name and avatar should show your personality off, or the person you wish to be.. you may like to use your own name, that’s your prerogative but I much prefer the daft ones. We had a little competition one night to name @Feisty_Onion… all night name suggestions were coming in until she settled on that one..¬† and she really is a feisty wee onion of a girl : )

Chosing a¬† “nickname”¬† on Twitter or anywhere else for that matter is and should remain¬†a basic human ¬†right.¬† When you register for a Twitter account, you chose your Twitter name as well as your own Biography, in there you can say as much or as little as you want about youself, you can even¬†blatantly lie – ¬†it’s Twitter..¬†there is no legal nor moral obligation to tell anybody more than they need to know.¬† Recently a very good Twitter friend of mine had to delete his account as people in “real life” were trying to find out his real identity for unpleasant reasons.¬† He is a real loss to Twitter and I know he misses expressing his thoughts in the arena.

Some people tie their Avatar image up to their Twitter name, I used to have a picture of Humphrey Cushion himself as mine but over time I enjoyed posting real photos of myself (if you can call them real!) .  

My¬†“proper” name was revealed recently, against my express wishes. That has bothered me a lot, I love being “Humph” and¬†“Ms Cushion” the blogger.. I feel that I have not only had to “come out”¬† about my disabilities in order to defend myself against unsubstantiated¬†allegations but my character has been taken from me as well¬†.

“Humph” has changed of late and I want her back!¬†I want to speak my mind! Well-meaning and not so well-meaning people have tried to silence me, I¬†shall resist speaking about certain subjects but¬†I want to be the spontaneous, gobby, flirty, daft bint of a month ago!¬† I want to dress up and make new avatars every week¬†without¬†fear that¬†they might end up in the papers!¬†¬†So I am bloody well going to! *sticks tongue out*

To that end, today I have made a new Vampire avatar for Halloween, as requested by @Gaijinsan21  : )

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