More Ms Cushion For The Pushin…

An idiot who goes by the name of Kenneth Tong has set Twitter on fire this week with his tweets about size Zero.  His outrageous comments include telling women to either slim or they may as well die.. He is planning to launch a “Size Zero Slimming Pill”… that sounds extremely dangerous and I sincerely hope the government steps in to ban it. 

To my horror and disgust he has managed to make me dislike my body again. After years of dieting I had finally got to a place in my mind where I accepted the way I am and even quite like some bits of it ( * )( * )  😉  Now the little troll in my head is saying “Oooh, Size Zero pills..”

We’ve all tried to put on or lose weight in our life, yes some people do try to put on weight!  Size Zero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.. I personally prefer to look at curvy women, I grew up with Marilyn Monroe posters all over my room, Nigella is a favourite role model of mine 🙂  .

I first tried to lose weight for my wedding.  I remember standing in the bridal shop wearing “the dress”, it was beautiful. Simple but with a fishtail skirt, I had the perfect hour glass figure, I really felt like Marilyn  🙂   I told the fitter that to order a smaller size as I was going to lose weight for the wedding. She snorted. Honestly, she actually snorted!  She didnt order the smaller dress and I didnt lose any weight… bugger it.

Next came post-baby dieting, after my third child I had gone up 2 dress sizes so off to the gym I went.. I also started writing a book about my “journey from fat to slim” in the form of a diary, following my experiences, I called it The Pillsbury Dough Girl. I started it in 1998 but still havent finished writing it!

Losing weight is SO hard for me. I was always “the fat one” in the family, I had a big tummy and a big “hooter” (nose).  I was also the one who craved the Mothership’s praise and so finished all my meals. I still crave her approval FFS, at 40 you’d think I would have escaped her powers by now!

I gradually learned to accept that I will never be a size 8 – 10 like my sisters and cousins (hate them all)  unless something drastic happens, like a coma..  Like so many others, I don’t overeat, nor do I eat junk food or drink much. I “under-do”.. I can blame the Chronic FATigue Syndrome or my mobility problems but the (ample) bottom line is, as I can’t exercise atm, I have to eat less. End of. Smaller portions, simples..  

I am like Ma Larkin though, I love cooking, I love feeding people and I’m good at it.. I’m not *quite* up to her proportions, nor do I serve up anything like her portion sizes and I certainly don’t take whole chickens and champagne into the bath!  That said, I rather like taking a fella in with me ; )

So I need to re-train myself, but  how to break the habits of a lifetime?  I’ve bought smaller plates, always put left-overs straight into the fridge so we can’t have seconds and I dont eat breakfast and hardly ever have lunch.  Something’s got to give right? (Hopefully not my waistband!)

Or maybe I should get a grip, look in the mirror and shake my booty whilst sticking two fingers up at Kenneth Tong?

(More Cushion For The Pushin in the Urban Dictionary)

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