Nobody puts Humph in the corner..

Origins of names.. Smith.. Baker.. Butcher.. common names, given to represent the person’s employment.. “John The Smithy” became John Smith.. “Tom the Cooper”, Tommy Cooper… well, not “that” one, but you catch my drift?

Pirates used “handles”.. Long John Silver, Blackbeard and so on which became part of our popular culture in 1881 with the appearance of Robert Louis Stevenson‘s Treasure Island.”

More recently came CB radio.. “How to Chose a CB radio Handle”..  “Part of the fun of selecting a handle is doing some soul-searching. Be guided by a name that is a reflection of your identity. Select a CB handle that is an extension of your inner persona ”

Even pop-stars have been known to partake.. *looks towards Ringo Starr and Alvin Stardust with amusement* This season’s  X-Factor had a contestant “Storm” whose name was objected to by Simon Cowell.. Why? Where is the harm in expressing yourself with an alter-ego or nick-name?

Now of course, we use “special names”  on my beloved Twitter..  I have a “thing” about avatars as you may have noticed but also about Twitter names.  You can be whoever or whatever you want to be on Twitter.. I am very good friends with a gerbil and a bear right now but amongst my friends I can also count fake celebrities and politicians and just ordinary people who prefer to keep their identity private for personal or employment reasons.  We have all heard horror stories about employers and potential employers “stalking” employees via social media sites such as Facebook and Bebo. 

A Twitter name and avatar should show your personality off, or the person you wish to be.. you may like to use your own name, that’s your prerogative but I much prefer the daft ones. We had a little competition one night to name @Feisty_Onion… all night name suggestions were coming in until she settled on that one..  and she really is a feisty wee onion of a girl : )

Chosing a  “nickname”  on Twitter or anywhere else for that matter is and should remain a basic human  right.  When you register for a Twitter account, you chose your Twitter name as well as your own Biography, in there you can say as much or as little as you want about youself, you can even blatantly lie –  it’s Twitter.. there is no legal nor moral obligation to tell anybody more than they need to know.  Recently a very good Twitter friend of mine had to delete his account as people in “real life” were trying to find out his real identity for unpleasant reasons.  He is a real loss to Twitter and I know he misses expressing his thoughts in the arena.

Some people tie their Avatar image up to their Twitter name, I used to have a picture of Humphrey Cushion himself as mine but over time I enjoyed posting real photos of myself (if you can call them real!) .  

My “proper” name was revealed recently, against my express wishes. That has bothered me a lot, I love being “Humph” and “Ms Cushion” the blogger.. I feel that I have not only had to “come out”  about my disabilities in order to defend myself against unsubstantiated allegations but my character has been taken from me as well .

“Humph” has changed of late and I want her back! I want to speak my mind! Well-meaning and not so well-meaning people have tried to silence me, I shall resist speaking about certain subjects but I want to be the spontaneous, gobby, flirty, daft bint of a month ago!  I want to dress up and make new avatars every week without fear that they might end up in the papers!  So I am bloody well going to! *sticks tongue out*

To that end, today I have made a new Vampire avatar for Halloween, as requested by @Gaijinsan21  : )

Nadine Dorries “says Sorry”..

Taken from YouTube, with grateful thanks to “TheAslanOfNarnia”…

No, SHE writes fiction…

Hello Twitter, Humph calling..

I have been quiet on this whilst seeking advice and am now in the position to put a few things straight.  Various unfounded allegations were made against me on Sunday 10/10/2010 by Ms Nadine Dorries MP for Mid Bedfordshire (Source) 

I am not going to go into each allegation line by line at this time, many of them can be answered by using a little common sense, ie Statutory Sick Pay, Protection of Vulnerable Adults Act etc.

However, there are some allegations that I would like to clear up for myself, now. One of these is the implication that I put graphic photographs of myself on Word Ejaculation which is completely untrue, this is the photograph I displayed there:


**  And I added this Roaaar photo to my “Milfs” post:

Although there are graphic images and stories on Word Ejaculation, my tales were accompanied by non-graphic images and the content was less descriptive than the writings of  Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins.

I am not now, nor have I ever been a selected candidate or organiser for the Labour party. Nor have I ever been inside the Houses of Commons, although I would love to go!

I DO consider myself disabled under the “Definition of ‘disability’ under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA)”  (as do my doctors!) I am not now, nor have I ever been in receipt of any health related nor unemployment benefits.

I am awaiting two operations on my feet for arthritis. I have been waiting since March 2010 for the operation on my right foot and since August for my left foot.  At no time have I ever said nor suggested that these will be at the same time, although I have heard from several people who have had such treatment.

Thanks for your continued support, I lubs you all muchly x

 *        *       *      *       *        *        *       *      *       *         *        *      
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes..  Mark Twain 

Twitter gets the stories first, Twitter gets the stories right…  Ms Cushion


  ** Updated 13th October 2020

A Good Coalition…

Humph & Linda

What on earth is a Labour supporter doing socialising with a Liberal Democrat PPC??? What’s more, why do they look like friends?

Because they are. Brought together by a hustings meeting in May, speaking on Twitter, meeting again at tweet-ups and becoming firm friends.  Many nights have been spent bashing out policies, arguing points and laughing our heads off..  why shouldnt people with differing political views be friends?

I make no pretence whatsoever about the  total devestation disappointment I felt when Nick Clegg took his party to join the Conservatives in May 2010.  My blood ran cold, I cried, I shouted my protests at the television as I am sure many thousands of others did. For months I ranted on about it until finally acceptance grudgingly settled in.

Since then I have had many debates on Twitter with Lib Dems about the rights and wrongs (or rights and lefts) of the Coalition. Generally (not always) we seem to come to similar conclusions, the Liberal Democrats seem to have been hoodwinked into propping up some appalling policies in exchange for a handful of their manifesto promises. Frustratingly, many Lib Dem policies have not only gone out of the window but have been literally stamped on by Dave & Co.

So as we sit and chat, laugh and debate during our tweet ups, I often wonder how very different things would have been had it been up to Humph & Linda…

Pssst: Linda writes a great blog.. “Lindylooz Muze”

Please call me Humph…

Dear Twitter,

Some UNFOUNDED accusations have been made about me today and my real name has been exposed, I won’t link to them or respond at this time other than to say..

Please call me Humph…   I love my Twitter name as much as I hated the childhood nickname “Humphrey Cushion” , endowed on me when I was about eleven.  Although I VERY verbally disagreed with them at the time, now – with hindsight, I can see they had a good point!  Thankfully, I grew into my nose in time : )

Spot The Difference..

Much love, your Humph xx

To Tweet Or Not To Tweet, THAT Is The Question

That IS the question. There was a time when I would tweet anything and everything I was thinking about. Nowadays, conscious that I am being watched, I am being far more careful. I am still stacking up an incredible amount of tweets to my name (my bad) but these are mostly replies to people now. I reply to everyone. I hate being ignored when I tweet to someone so always do my best to answer, even the #knobs. Occasionally I will miss a reply, usually because I have had so many answers to a tweet Ive sent out that they get a bit lost in my Tweetdeck mentions… dont take it personally!
I love tweeting, its conversation to me. My average “twonversation” is probably 4 or 5 tweets long but some last – on and off, all day. Each take mere seconds *hard stare at a certain person* .
I love writing, being able to compress a paragraph into 140 characters ( less if you want it to be retweeted ) its like a sport. A test of writing ability and when I make the perfect tweet I feel as though I have really achieved something, yeah I know how sad that sounds!  Many years ago, more than I care to admit to.. I entered my first and only writing competition, it was for Woman’s Weekly (beat me on the bottom), a Fiction special and the challenge was to write a teeny tiny short story, in 60 words or less.  I loved it and knocked out 6 or so entries and sent them off. The next month I bought the magazine to see what sort of entries they had received. To my shock, I had made it into the mag, one of just five stories taken from thousands and I won the princely sum of £10!
I’d forgotten about that until today, laying sleeplessly in bed, mind recalling a conversation I had yesterday with a reporter, about what I will do when I lose my job. And lose my job I will. I am not going to get better, even after I finally have my feet repaired. I saw my GP on Tuesday as I was suffering from severe stress (quelle surprise *hard stare at two people* you know who you are, *thwack* ).  It is apparent that I have so much damage in my neck that I cannot possibly return to caring……….    But I CAN make home visits to the elderly and disabled in my village, which I am really looking forward to starting.  My little village is lovely, it’s a real community and we have band of volunteers (David Cameron will love this) who offer support and help to other villagers. Should you need a lift to the doctor or similar appointment, if you cant cut your own grass (me) , need taking to the shops and just want some companionship you simply have to pick up the phone… So, that will be my “day job”, volunteering to sit and chat with “real” people, instead of you lot.. Why don’t I do it now? I am not allowed to. There is a Social Services ruling that bans me from visiting my “service users”… horrible term, unless I am scheduled to be there.  It has been a long 5 months not being able to see them and I know they miss me as much as I miss them.
That wont pay the rent though so what to do? I will be pretty unemployable tbh and so I have decided to throw my hat into the ring and will try my hand at writing again. I think I’m pretty versatile and can write in a number of styles on any given topic.. (believe it or not I have even written some smutty things.. who knew?  Although on reflection, take them away from the Word Ejaculation website and they are only as racy as the works of Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins, hardly what you would call “porn” Nadine!)  So, that’s my plan Batman.. thanks for listening, like you had a choice, right? ; )
Oh, almost forgot.. this is my winning story.. the first “tweet” I ever made, 16 years ago..
Labour of Love
“Puusssshh, Carol, you ‘re nearly there”
  “I can’t – can’t do any more.”
She was drenched in sweat and exhausted. She could hear voices urging her on and the sound of a heartbeat. Machines bleeped around her and pain was making her nauseous. One more push…… then, suddenly, a shout rang out! She’d done it – beaten the record on the step machine!

The Gob of Nadine Dorries MP…

Nadine Dorries’ discriminatory remarks on her blog yesterday Twitter Obsession  and Guido Expose  were not only mis-informed and inflammatory but extremely offensive to the people they were aimed at. Here are a selection of blog-posts and other articles written in response to the “Honourable Lady” (Freeze pages courtesy of @dnotice )

Post by @charonqc Nadine Dorries MP – a sufferer of *kneejerkitis*, *callousitis* or just *stupiditis*?

  @Nadine Dorries  via @bellacat

 Nadine Dorries on “Nutters”    via @serialinsomniac

 @Mr Neurosceptic

 On Dorries, Harris, Cushion and Japanese Prisoners of War…….. via @lindylooz

 I’m Close To Despair Is It Just Me!?! via @DisabilityXpe

The displeasure is all mine (and the thousands of others) via @Joanne_C

Future notes

@Hellsbells265  “Why is Nadine Dorries so belligerent? “

 @credo “It’s time for Nadine Dorries to stop saying things, in public”

Nadine Dorries Takes Revenge on Twitter Critic: Uses Paul Staines to Push Smear by Richard Bartholomew

Another crack of the whip from an ignorant Tory  by Cathy Reay

Why Nadine Dorries posts about Twitter were worse than you think by Dick Mandrake

Ms Cushion’s Misfortune  by Richard Lyle

Frequent tweeting doesn’t make one a benefit cheat, Nadine Dorries Guardian article by Lucy Glennon

The Honourable Member Should Know Better.. by @Splottdad

Twitter, Disabled People, and Benefit Fraud? on Disability Voices by Writer in a wheelchair

And In Other News  by Mr Plug a fellow constituent

Sit in the corner and keep quiet. Lessons disabled people can learn from Nadine Dorries.  by @mindinflux

Why Nadine Dorries is wrong – aka Twitter saved my sanity by Caron

She simply doesnt know when to stop  by @thespiderplant

@Nadine Dorries  by Seaneen

How I let Nadine Dorries get me down  by  @bridgetorr

Dorries, Disability and Benefit from Journal of Medical Ethics blog

Threats and Fear. by Incurable Hippie

What do you think Mr Cameron? by @samedifference1

Wrestling Emily Dickinson  via @adamfishpoet

Just mind your own damn business Nadine Dorries by @HarpyMarx

Tory MP: Disabled shouldnt tweet or go to the pub by the real daae

Nadine Norries and the perils of saying too much by Beatrice Bray

Please let me know if I have missed any…

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