Nadine Dorries “says Sorry”..

Taken from YouTube, with grateful thanks to “TheAslanOfNarnia”…

No, SHE writes fiction…

Hello Twitter, Humph calling..

I have been quiet on this whilst seeking advice and am now in the position to put a few things straight.  Various unfounded allegations were made against me on Sunday 10/10/2010 by Ms Nadine Dorries MP for Mid Bedfordshire (Source) 

I am not going to go into each allegation line by line at this time, many of them can be answered by using a little common sense, ie Statutory Sick Pay, Protection of Vulnerable Adults Act etc.

However, there are some allegations that I would like to clear up for myself, now. One of these is the implication that I put graphic photographs of myself on Word Ejaculation which is completely untrue, this is the photograph I displayed there:

 

**  And I added this Roaaar photo to my “Milfs” post:

Although there are graphic images and stories on Word Ejaculation, my tales were accompanied by non-graphic images and the content was less descriptive than the writings of  Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins.

I am not now, nor have I ever been a selected candidate or organiser for the Labour party. Nor have I ever been inside the Houses of Commons, although I would love to go!

I DO consider myself disabled under the “Definition of ‘disability’ under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA)”  (as do my doctors!) I am not now, nor have I ever been in receipt of any health related nor unemployment benefits.

I am awaiting two operations on my feet for arthritis. I have been waiting since March 2010 for the operation on my right foot and since August for my left foot.  At no time have I ever said nor suggested that these will be at the same time, although I have heard from several people who have had such treatment.

Thanks for your continued support, I lubs you all muchly x

 *        *       *      *       *        *        *       *      *       *         *        *      
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes..  Mark Twain 

Twitter gets the stories first, Twitter gets the stories right…  Ms Cushion

 

  ** Updated 13th October 2020

Please call me Humph…

Dear Twitter,

Some UNFOUNDED accusations have been made about me today and my real name has been exposed, I won’t link to them or respond at this time other than to say..

Please call me Humph…   I love my Twitter name as much as I hated the childhood nickname “Humphrey Cushion” , endowed on me when I was about eleven.  Although I VERY verbally disagreed with them at the time, now – with hindsight, I can see they had a good point!  Thankfully, I grew into my nose in time : )

Spot The Difference..

Much love, your Humph xx

You can reach me by…

They Work For You?

Taken from the website “They Work For You” this morning..

OK, lets try via Nadine’s website, which shows this address: dorriesn@parliament.uk
And get this reply:

Nadine Dorries MP
Mid Bedfordshire
HOUSE OF COMMONS
LONDON  SW1A 0AA

 

Many thanks for your email – the Office of Nadine Dorries MP aims to respond to constituents within three weeks of receipt of a letter.

Due to the high volume of emails my office receive, I can only respond to constituents requesting advice or representation who write in to the following address;

Mid Bedfordshire Conservative Association
St Michael’s Close
High Street
Shefford
Bedfordshire SG17 5DD

If you are a constituent requiring urgent assistance, or to book an appointment at one of my regular surgeries across the constituency, please call 01462 811449.

For all other enquiries, please contact the Westminster office on 0207 219 5928.

Yours,
Nadine Dorries
MP for Mid Bedfordshire

 

David Cameron, The Guardian, “New Politics”  Monday 25 May 2009

“If we want people to have faith and get involved, we need to defeat this impression by opening politics up: making everything transparent, accessible – and human. And the starting point for reform should be a near-total transparency of the political and governing elite, so people can see what’s being done in their name”.

Ms Cushion  – 7th October2010

No comment…

Three O’Clock in the Morning….

And it looks like it’s gonna be another sleepless night..  This is the third night in a row I havent slept. I last had insomnia during the election and the agonising days after it while the nation awaited its fate. During that time myself and several others tweeted to each other via @tchee ‘s #1amclub . We passed the time sharing music, “passing drinks” and @tchee would  “hand round a plate of Ferrero Rocher”.  One night we danced on the bar and I even got @tim_mullen to dance with me : )

I digress.. the reason for my being awake in the not so small hours has a name, that name is Nadine Dorries.  Since her vicious comments seemingly aimed at me but taking a swipe at all disabled and unemployed, I have been filled with what I can only describe as poison. It makes me shake.  I can feel it in my blood, churning in my stomach, it is of course stress.  Stress has also tensed up my back and neck muscles leaving me in tremendous pain but also giving me headaches and vertigo.  My feet have been up all day but they hurt too.  I would take some medicine to relieve the muscles but I know they will make me dopey tomorrow.  Therefore I sacrifice my sleep in order to be alert as I know that there is still work for me to do. 

Right now though, I want to thank you Twitter, all of you. Whether you RTd a link, wrote a blog post, tweeted a comment or commented on a blog post, even if you simply read one of them.. thank you.  I have had the most amazing support this week. I have not been able to confide in family or friends about this, they wouldn’t understand and would be frustrated and upset on my behalf, they also have their own problems to deal with. Thank you for being there for me and for listening.

Now, about this blog. Please believe me when I say that I am not showing off , I didn’t make this happen   – YOU  did.. There have been over 6000 views of the blog in just 2 days. * That is incredible. So many people have been affected by this issue, the blog statistics are testament to that.  Could I ask you to help me again though? Please support the vulnerable, help their voices be heard. Fight to stamp out ignorance, discrimination and bullying. Keep this topic trending until the media finally take notice.  Together we are formidable as Ms Dorries must by now be aware.  Her brag of only 50 or so constituents hearing about this must now sound foolish, even to her closed ears. 

Nobody interested?

Tonight, as I lay awake thinking about Nadine Dorries and the effect she has had on my life this week, I wonder if she too is laying awake thinking the same about me?

*Since I posted this article, the blog stats went crazy as you can see.. now over 12.000 in less than one week.. thank you so much Twitter for taking notice!

Dorries Law – The 140 Character Commandments

Since the news first broke on Twitter on Thursday, “Dorries” has been a trending topic.. a very long time for one person to trend (with the exception of the Bieber boy) .  There has been absolute outrage, lots of swearing, serious debates, nasty racist jibes from the BNP crowd at one lovely tweter and most recently mirth..

#DorriesLaw  is a lighthearted dig at the “Honourable Member”.. here are her 140 Character Commandments..

** This is SATIRE, written mostly by disabled tweeters and if offence is caused, it is completely unintentional.. **

 

  • Deaf people with sign language can work as human traffic lights if     suspended from posts
  • People in wheelchairs could easily play Daleks in Doctor Who
  • There’s nothing more depressing than working in a call centre, so make depressed people work in call centres
  • Blind people can work in coalmines where you can’t really see anything anyway
  • People with multiple personality disorders can easily take on more than one job
  • People on mobility scooters could work as more localised grocery delivery service
  • If these homless types can sell The Big Issue then can get jobs running a newsagents
  • Unemployed? Get your parents to become an MP then they can employ you
  • Are you a midget? Instead of waiting for Xmas to come along to work as a pantomime dwarf, you could clean out some chimneys?
  • Disabled people in wheelchairs to be dropped on Afghanistan as tanks
  • Know what’s happening in twitter and the media – then you should get a job as a political commentator. It’s that easy!
  • On a ventilator? Get a job as a humidifer and stop scrounging from the state you feckless, idle waster
  • The short-sighted can write for The Daily mail
  • Too depressed to move? Get a job as a speed bump!
  • Disabled? Sad? Isolated? Be a sprinkler in the summer! no more hose pipe bans
  • Useless, bigoted, intolerant, prejudiced and offensive to right thinking people? Get a job as Nadine Dorries
  • Severe Dermatitis? You could be putting the flaky into flaky pastry at Greggs
  • Pile undeserving poor up across ports of entry, make it harder for foreigners to get in.
  • The deaf to be employed in all customer contact services for the DWP
  • Disabled by paranoia? Yet another great qualification for writing for the Daily Mail.
  • Dead? Plenty of acting jobs for corpses if you’d just get up off your decomposing arse and look for one.
  • Paraplegic? People will need draught excluders in these coming winter months…
  • Tourettes ? Court stenographer in chav land (Swindon) You probably swear less and it would brighten court..
  • Got epilepsy? Clearly “Fit” For work.
  • That deaf, dumb and blind kid who plays a mean pin ball. If he can do that, he can do a proper job.
  • Trouble communicating? Prone to deranged outbursts? Stop scrounging benefits, become a Tory MP and scrounge expenses instead.
  • Lost our satelite signal….thats how rainy it was – anybody with a plate in their head who fancies an evenings work ring me
  • Stephen hawking has a job and can use a computer… He is our benchmark to which we gauge…
  • If you can pick up your Giro you can pick up litter, now get on with it shnell shnell. 
  • Chronic fatigue sufferers! The DWP will employ you to deal with benefits claims. The less able you are, the better!
  • Strong enough to deal with chemo? Strong enough to empty our bins!
  • Got a heroin problem? Start taking speed as well to perk you up. You’ll soon be working 12 hour shifts to aid the recovery
  • Suffering with severe depression? Don’t bother with Prozac, slap on some face paint and become a sad clown mime.
  • Got a sharp knife & a chopping board? Slice cabbages & carrots for money. Yes, you can make Coleslaw under
  • Unemployed? Answer your emails, Nigerian businessmen will offer you money, just give him your bank details & get off benefits
  • The Thing works for the Addams Family and he’s just a detached hand! If he can do it, so can you!
  • Quadruple amputee? Get out there & get a job as a sandbag you lazy shirker. Don’t u know it’s flood season
  • Sale of PCs to the disabled banned. If you can use it, you’re not sick enough for benefits
  • Passed away? Rigor mortis set in? Assume the position and take a job as a coat rack
  • Dyscalculia? Good you’re the ideal person to help me with my expenses.. you’re hired!
  • Multiple personality disorder? Become a libdem mp
  • Stay at home mums deserve respect and a voice!! Unless they’re single mothers on benefits. Then they should STFU.
  • Insomnia? That’s not a proper illness! Get two jobs you work shy scrounger. Haven’t you seen Fight Club?
  • To make the new benefits system even more efficient maybe claimants could also wear a yellow star.
  • VolgaTV. Tory MP admits obsessive new media use, signs off sick, shops herself as benefit fraud & forces self back to work as MP
  • Vertically challenged? Get down your local theatre for a job. It’s nearly panto season again.
  • Drastic cuts for the disabled are needed, because unlike tax evaders, the disabled don’t contribute to my election fund!
  • Disabled folk could easily get work as extras on Holby City or Casualty
  • Newly graduated but unemployed? Get your shameless MP mum to give you a £28K job at the tax payers expense

 

  • “Chilean miners, you have a lot to learn. I’m in a hole and I didn’t stop digging.” Nadine Dorries on #dorrieslaw

 

Gonna leave it there, the last one says it all…

 

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are not necessarily those of Ms Cushion although she giggled all night reading them.

BTW, sorry for not tagging each entry by name.. Humph is very tired 😦   its been a long few days xx

A message from a friend…

Yet again, I’ve been moved to tears by a fellow tweeter with a hidden illness. Tonight, I received this message…

Humph, hello x

I know you’re a bit snowed under, so I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I’ve just (about 2 hours ago) popped on to Twitter for the first time since Weds and I was so shocked to see what’s been going on! It looks like you’re handling the whole sorry situation *amazingly*. I hope you are okay, it must be a little overwhelming, but I am chuffed that you are getting so much support.

It’s funny, because one of the reasons that I haven’t been on there or FB for a few days is that I’ve been off sick for 8 weeks & a ‘colleague’ commented that I seem to be managing to keep up with Twitter & FB okay. Silly cow. She doesn’t get that most of the time I Tweet laying down because I’m in too much pain to move. And I don’t mention being poorly, because I don’t want to moan. It happened to coincide with me going to stay at a friend’s to get some more fun times for (childs name removed) while I rest, so I thought I’d stay off for a while anyway, but I’ll be back & adding my name to the #TeamHumph campaign soon.

Anyway, my time at home has been made immeasurably more pleasant by Twitter – and that includes your brilliantly entertaining Tweets & pics. So not only is your Twitter use helping you through a difficult time, you are helping me too.

Have got to wait till November to see my consultant (it’s a chronic thing, my last ‘flare’ was 10 years ago – I was seen & operated on within 3 weeks back then, so this wait has been a bit of a shock). Anyway, just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you & I think this is going to work out great for you. So sorry you’ve been the focal point of such ignorance. Take care. Team Humph FTW!

 

 

( The reason I havent published her name is that she wishes to remain hidden.. )

Twitter, Autism and Me.. A Guest Post

I am autistic. I have known this since I was 20 when I was tested for Dyslexia and Dyspraxia while I was at University. I also am Dyslexic and Dyspraxic but I have all three marginally. This is how I was ‘undiscovered’ for so long.

I haven’t told many people, the only people that know is the Doctor and medical team that tested me and a few very close friends. I haven’t even told my family.

I’m not ashamed of my autism but I am scared that people will treat me differently. The people I have told have shrugged it off with a comment such as “I always knew you were special.” Always the same joke but then the seriousness of “I didn’t know” or “I’m sorry”. Of course they didn’t know, I didn’t always know! But I do hide it and cope well in order to hide it. However, I don’t know why they are sorry as I’m not. It hasn’t changed my life, just given more clarity to it.

I’ve always been independent, segregated, for want of a better word, from ‘society’ because I like it like that and I struggle to cope in many social situations. I often find myself confused which leads to frustration as I don’t know why I am confused and then I get upset. Not visibly so, but I often cry when I’m alone because I can’t cope.

I have friends, lots of them, but I only have two friends I can rely on and have seen me hit the bottom and have helped me back up. These two I have had before I found out.

I’ve never had, what one would call, a relationship. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve had sexual encounters but because I haven’t been able to relate to the other person the experiences have been unsatisfactory, almost worthless. However, I’m not actively looking for a girlfriend as I’m desperately trying to navigate the relationships I already have.

Autism, at times, can be lonely other times it doesn’t affect how I operate. However I would not want not to be autistic because then I wouldn’t be me. Twitter helps overcome the social awkwardness as I am dealing in the written language and no one has to see me and I don’t have to see them either. I don’t consider myself disabled, but I do have difficulties and Twitter helps overcome them. Twitter is a lifeline to anyone regardless of ability because sometimes only strangers can comfort because they don’t come with preconceptions. Some judge, but the majority don’t.

You have heard my story of how autism affects me and how Twitter helps. What’s your story?

**If you are affected by this issue or are just concerned, please take a moment to sign this petition against disibility hate crime.

The Gob of Nadine Dorries MP…

Nadine Dorries’ discriminatory remarks on her blog yesterday Twitter Obsession  and Guido Expose  were not only mis-informed and inflammatory but extremely offensive to the people they were aimed at. Here are a selection of blog-posts and other articles written in response to the “Honourable Lady” (Freeze pages courtesy of @dnotice )

Post by @charonqc Nadine Dorries MP – a sufferer of *kneejerkitis*, *callousitis* or just *stupiditis*?

  @Nadine Dorries  via @bellacat

 Nadine Dorries on “Nutters”    via @serialinsomniac

 @Mr Neurosceptic    http://nocturnal-emissions.posterous.com/29688775

 On Dorries, Harris, Cushion and Japanese Prisoners of War…….. via @lindylooz

 I’m Close To Despair Is It Just Me!?! via @DisabilityXpe

The displeasure is all mine (and the thousands of others) via @Joanne_C

Future notes  http://alligin.tumblr.com/

@Hellsbells265  “Why is Nadine Dorries so belligerent? “

 @credo “It’s time for Nadine Dorries to stop saying things, in public”

Nadine Dorries Takes Revenge on Twitter Critic: Uses Paul Staines to Push Smear by Richard Bartholomew

Another crack of the whip from an ignorant Tory  by Cathy Reay

Why Nadine Dorries posts about Twitter were worse than you think by Dick Mandrake

Ms Cushion’s Misfortune  by Richard Lyle

Frequent tweeting doesn’t make one a benefit cheat, Nadine Dorries Guardian article by Lucy Glennon

The Honourable Member Should Know Better.. by @Splottdad

Twitter, Disabled People, and Benefit Fraud? on Disability Voices by Writer in a wheelchair

And In Other News  by Mr Plug a fellow constituent

Sit in the corner and keep quiet. Lessons disabled people can learn from Nadine Dorries.  by @mindinflux

Why Nadine Dorries is wrong – aka Twitter saved my sanity by Caron

She simply doesnt know when to stop  by @thespiderplant

@Nadine Dorries  by Seaneen

How I let Nadine Dorries get me down  by  @bridgetorr

Dorries, Disability and Benefit from Journal of Medical Ethics blog

Threats and Fear. by Incurable Hippie

What do you think Mr Cameron? by @samedifference1

Wrestling Emily Dickinson  via @adamfishpoet

Just mind your own damn business Nadine Dorries by @HarpyMarx

Tory MP: Disabled shouldnt tweet or go to the pub by the real daae

Nadine Norries and the perils of saying too much by Beatrice Bray

Please let me know if I have missed any…

Who let the gobs out? A follow-up

She’s off again.. 
  
Guido Expose
Posted Thursday, 30 September 2010 at 19:55
So, Guido found one! http://order-order.com/
Apparently, I trended on Twitter all day. Not that I have a clue what that means. Of my 80,000 constituents, I would bet I’m being generous if I say 50 of them noticed
The left wing Twitterati have apparently gone into overdrive today, and so they should. Guido informs me that his expose claims to be a Labour activist web site organiser for Bedfordshire – or something similar, AND she writes porn http://wordejaculation.wordpress.com/
 
Nice lady.

For the purpose of clarity, let me point out the following.

If you are genuinely disabled, or like my mum, retired and love to use the internet to chat to friends etc (she makes me look like a luddite) then that is fantastic and I wish you many hours of pleasure. 

If you Twitter all day, every day about claiming disability benefit in one tweet whist arranging a night out in the pub in the next. If you tweet about claiming six months rent from the social fund whilst tweeting how bad your hangover is and if you stride into political meetings and shout the odds with energy and enthusiasm with no sign of any physical disability and if you claim to work for the Labour party and write porn at the same time as claiming your disability benefit – then don’t expect someone like me not to a) inform the authorities and b) tell you to get of your Twitter and get a job.  

 
 
 
Striding at all and shouting with enthusiasm would be lovely.. hangovers equally so, I wonder where this “information” came from? 
 
I do not now, nor ever have received disability or any other “health” related benefits. However does claiming disability benefit mean you are not entitled to enjoy a night in the pub? Shall we lock all the disabled away nice and quietly, out of sight – they really don’t deserve treats do they?
 
Nor have I ever attempted to ask for a loan from the Social Fund.  A tweeter suggested that I should ask for one this week as I couldn’t pay 8 months rent as a deposit on a house I had viewed.  The reason I was asked for this extortionate amount is because I am a part-time employee.  The same rule applies to people on incapacity benefits and the unemployed.  I was incandescent with rage and so tweeted about it this week.  It is a disgraceful way to treat the poor and vulnerable in our society and the agent told me it was directly in response to the Coalition’s hard-line on benefits.
 
But erm, yes.. I do write some smutty stuff… #sobiteme ; )
*Picture via @Andrew_Taylor     
Taken from this Guardian article by @LucyTweeting
*** NADINE DORRIES HAS NOW ALTERED HER BLOG POST REMOVING THE LINK TO WORDEJACULATION AND ONE “PORN” REFERENCE, IT NOW READS AS FOLLOWS ***
 
Guido Expose
Posted Thursday, 30 September 2010 at 19:55
So, Guido found one! http://order-order.com/

Apparently, I trended on Twitter all day. Not that I have a clue what that means. Of my 80,000 constituents, I would bet I’m being generous if I say 50 of them noticed

The left wing Twitterati have apparently gone into overdrive today, and so they should. Guido informs me that his expose claims to be a Labour activist web site organiser for Bedfordshire – or something similar, AND she writes  **   adult entertainment ** – nice lady.

For the purpose of clarity, let me point out the following.

If you are genuinely disabled, or like my mum, retired and love to use the internet to chat to friends etc (she makes me look like a luddite) then that is fantastic and I wish you many hours of pleasure.

If you Twitter all day, every day about claiming disability benefit in one tweet whist arranging a night out in the pub in the next. If you tweet about claiming six months rent from the social fund whilst tweeting how bad your hangover is and if you stride into political meetings and shout the odds with energy and enthusiasm with no sign of any physical disability and if you claim to work for the Labour party and write porn at the same time as claiming your disability benefit – then don’t expect someone like me not to a) inform the authorities and b) tell you to get of your Twitter and get a job. 

*This page updated on 5th October..
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