Plates of Meat – Part Four – Changes…


Humph's little piggies 2 weeks ago...


Last week I had a Lapidus 1st metatarsal / cuneiform joint fusion with Kessel Bonney osteotomy of hallux and a Cartiva synthetic cartilage implant or in other words, my big toe was broken, a piece of bone taken out from it which resulted in it being shorter, bone overgrowth was sawn from the top of the joint, a metal plate and screws were affixed to force my foot to perform properly and a piece of fake cartilage was implanted to protect the joint from further wear and tear.

Check out the sexy footwear, these are sure to be a big hit on all the European beaches this year ; )

*awaits wolf-whistles*

But whose foot is this?  I knew it would look different but was unprepared as to how alien the toe would look. It is short and stubby and points upwards now, like a little ski-jump nose.  It isn’t mine, I think they have made a mistake and sent me home with the wrong one, or does that just happen with babies in bad might-be-reality-but-might-be-made-up shows? I suppose I could give it a chance, wash and dress it and see if we bond.. maybe I will even grow to care for it and paint it pretty colours.  Or maybe I will just turn my back and hide it from myself and everyone in the hope that if I ignore it, it will go away.  Either way, I’m stuck with it and it is stuck with me and I have to accept that my “toe-sucking” days may be over. ( Honestly, you should try it but do your best not to think of Fergie or it will all go horribly wrong)



This little piggy went "weeee.."


Tee hee, check out the pen marks from me scratching under my bandages, the Mothership thought it was my veins sticking out, gross.. !


  1. Personally I find toe sucking quite arousing both giving & receiving ;p

  2. Yeah, make sure Nadine sees this. I’m sure she’ll be the first to offer her best wishes. 😉

  3. Thanks, Humph. I now feel quite ill. I’m glad you’re on the mend but I could be doing without the livid and vivid photographs.

    *shuts eyes tightly*

    Can you do a special Rich version of your posts without the photographs for the terminally squeamish?

    • Tee hee, I did tweet a disclaimer…. and put up a pic of pretty piggies to soften the blow : )

  4. Fantastic post H, It must be so uncomfortable but your being a real trooper. I’m sure if you give it time you’ll soon be up on your feet properly

  5. Your posts on this are brilliant humph, and the photos. Very impressed by how you’re approaching this whole thing.

    As the veteran of many casts, I can sympathis with the “itching”. Learnt very quickly that scratching ain’t a good idea after a knitting needle cut turned septic.

    Bizarrely, the solution for casts, which have a little gap, is a hairdryer on a cold setting. #wishiknewusefulstufftoo

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