Three O’Clock in the Morning….

And it looks like it’s gonna be another sleepless night..  This is the third night in a row I havent slept. I last had insomnia during the election and the agonising days after it while the nation awaited its fate. During that time myself and several others tweeted to each other via @tchee ‘s #1amclub . We passed the time sharing music, “passing drinks” and @tchee would  “hand round a plate of Ferrero Rocher”.  One night we danced on the bar and I even got @tim_mullen to dance with me : )

I digress.. the reason for my being awake in the not so small hours has a name, that name is Nadine Dorries.  Since her vicious comments seemingly aimed at me but taking a swipe at all disabled and unemployed, I have been filled with what I can only describe as poison. It makes me shake.  I can feel it in my blood, churning in my stomach, it is of course stress.  Stress has also tensed up my back and neck muscles leaving me in tremendous pain but also giving me headaches and vertigo.  My feet have been up all day but they hurt too.  I would take some medicine to relieve the muscles but I know they will make me dopey tomorrow.  Therefore I sacrifice my sleep in order to be alert as I know that there is still work for me to do. 

Right now though, I want to thank you Twitter, all of you. Whether you RTd a link, wrote a blog post, tweeted a comment or commented on a blog post, even if you simply read one of them.. thank you.  I have had the most amazing support this week. I have not been able to confide in family or friends about this, they wouldn’t understand and would be frustrated and upset on my behalf, they also have their own problems to deal with. Thank you for being there for me and for listening.

Now, about this blog. Please believe me when I say that I am not showing off , I didn’t make this happen   – YOU  did.. There have been over 6000 views of the blog in just 2 days. * That is incredible. So many people have been affected by this issue, the blog statistics are testament to that.  Could I ask you to help me again though? Please support the vulnerable, help their voices be heard. Fight to stamp out ignorance, discrimination and bullying. Keep this topic trending until the media finally take notice.  Together we are formidable as Ms Dorries must by now be aware.  Her brag of only 50 or so constituents hearing about this must now sound foolish, even to her closed ears. 

Nobody interested?

Tonight, as I lay awake thinking about Nadine Dorries and the effect she has had on my life this week, I wonder if she too is laying awake thinking the same about me?

*Since I posted this article, the blog stats went crazy as you can see.. now over 12.000 in less than one week.. thank you so much Twitter for taking notice!


  1. Disgruntled Taxpayer has an ideological position which would not change whether you gave him/her all the detail in the world. There’s always a ‘yes, but…’ and a ‘what about…’ and like those poor American Republicans on Tuesday night, no amount of evidence presented to them to the contrary will invite them to conclude they are wrong.

    oh and a note for you Disgruntled taxpayer.
    I pay my tax too and you do NOT speak for me. I am happy to pay every penny I owe because I believe in a society which helps those who cannot help themselves. If as a taxpayer I had one suggestion for HMG, (because you seem very keen that because we pay tax we can dictate to the nth degree how it is spent) it would be that they redeploy ATOS away from trying to save me a few pounds here and there to uncovering the hundreds of millions of pounds owed by those who are not paying their fair share.

    HC, keep up the good work

  2. Something about this Disgruntled Taxpayer person doesn’t sound right to me. Either this is someone else under another name, or they really are that much of a ****. If it’s the second, God help us.

  3. I appreciate your responding to me. If you are as you represent yourself to be then you’ve had a hell of a few days. And that’s the question, whether you are the disabled woman you represent yourself to be. That’s why it is about you and no one else.

    It is a question Dorries MP put to you you’ve yet to answer. Instead you’ve been quite busy misrepresenting her position as denying creature comforts to the disabled, defaming her as heartless, and gathering an army of the gullible to act as your umbrella from Guido Fawkes’ blogstorm. The storm directed at you and only you.

    You had an opportunity last night to answer Dorries MP publicly. You had an opportunity to discuss the suffering Paul Staines caused you. You had an opportunity to correct any widespread falsehoods about you. You were offered on-air time to advocate for the disabled! Did you take advantage of such prime opportunity? “Noooooo! Im not going on the air!”

    You write, “What business is it of mine, hers or anyone elses what benefit claimants do with THEIR money. Do people not pay taxes and national insurance in order to support the state and protect themselves in the future? So, if they get ill what are they supposed to do, sit nice and quietly in a corner, grovel and be grateful for crumbs? Dont be so ridiculous.”

    No one asked you to sit nice and quietly in a corner, grovel and be grateful for crumbs. Not Dorries MP and not me. Do what you want. But it’s interesting how hostile it seems you are to charity and good will, how offensive to you that you have to be deserving to receive help; that you have to ask for and not demand help; and to say, politely, thank you.

    You’re right that people pay taxes and national insurance for themselves. But you left something out. People pay taxes and national insurance to support others not just themselves. Taxpayers have a right to know that those who ask and receive their support deserve it. That’s why it’s my business.

    • Dan, as you read my tweets to Duncan Barkes you know very well that I was too unwell to speak on live radio at 3 in the morning! I had in fact been unwell all day.

    • Hi Disgruntled Taxpayer

      I am a supporter of Ms Cushion, who has already alluded to her serious arthritic problems. I wonder do you think I am worthy of your support; I have severe complex PTSD, depression, anxiety and major depression with dissociative and psychotic features.

      I ask because as far as I can see most people think that hidden disabilities such as but not limited to mine are fallacies claimed to avoid working.

      Twitter has saved my life, which is why I have taken exception to Ms Dorries’s rambling. As has already been noted, although her remarks were ostensibly throwaway, the point is she is suggesting that people with real disabilities can do x or y. Where is the line drawn? That is clearly discriminatory in nature.

      Many – quite possibly most – of us claiming benefits just to exist are intelligent, educated people, who have a history of conscientiousness broken solely by illness. Very few wish to ‘live’ (if it can be so-called) in this sort of plane of existence, and regret very deeply our inability to presently be in the employment market.

      Of course I’m sure you know this, but I felt compelled to allude to it nonetheless as so many working people appear to opine that their taxes merely go to prop up the lazy and the apathetic, a supposition that is mostly a fallacy.

      Best wishes


    • This ‘taxpayers have a right to know’ hogwash – we’re all taxpayers. Our ‘right to know’ ends at the door of privacy and personal agency. Paying tax does not give you or anyone else the right to demand constant justification for a disabled person’s every moment of existence.

      F*ck off, frankly.

    • Disgruntled Taxpayer
      Are you disgruntled at the tax avoiders (tax avoidance estimated at £100 million), Again Dorries insinuated all social network users should be questioned and reported via her own blog, She seems to want some sort of control over what benefit recipients actually do with thier time. I suggest you direct your anger at the other end of the spectrum, the tax avoiders.

  4. Again, my take is that times are tough. I think that’s without saying. Charity and good will are fine but we can’t afford the cheats and the drones gaming the system. Enough is enough.

    None of your lot have a word to say about the layabouts and grifters except you aren’tt one and how dare we inquire. Meanwhile you in high dudgeon slag off Dorries MP and anyone else questioning who don’t want their pockets picked, then trot out for cover her pals’ anecdotes of disability as if they make her case! Fine. So we don’t leave the matter of your disability open to legitimate question. We put it to bed. We can confirm your claims with a DWP inquiry. Why not? What did Thatcher’s best friend say, trust but verify?

    We don’t need to know every jot and tittle of the findings; only that you are squarely on the up and up. All this Twitter nonsense and your “It’s not about me.” is a blind. Why aren’t you confronting Dorries MP face to face with evidence of disability? How better to discredit her and all us other ‘heartless sods’ who ask only that their money go to those who deserve it.

    Now, will you engage those who civilly express a different point of view than yours, or is this blog for your followers only?

    • Being as you asked so nicely this time.. ; ) I shall answer you in full later. HC

    • We can confirm your claims with a DWP inquiry. Why not? Why not? Because my life is none of your damn business, that’s why not. Also, HOW could I publish the findings without identifying myself ? I could hide my details but then you would accuse me of using someone elses!

      And it IS NOT ABOUT ME! I dont want a apology from Nadine Dorries nor do I ever expect one, that is not her style. What I would like however and have asked for via the press, is clarification of who she believes should not be “allowed” to socialise, attend political meetings, drink, write, tweet and breathe without her blessing.. Again though, what business is it of mine, hers or anyone elses what benefit claimants do with THEIR money. Do people not pay taxes and national insurance in order to support the state and protect themselves in the future? So, if they get ill what are they supposed to do, sit nice and quietly in a corner, grovel and be grateful for crumbs? Dont be so ridiculous.

      As for people who have never worked and always claimed help, are there jobs available? If not, why not? If so, why do they think they are better off on the dole? Those are the issues we have to deal with, not targetting the vulnerable.

  5. Mental health issues are very important in my family. We have depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety (PTSD) from the long wars, and just plain old alcohol problems. I am convinced my family has bad genetic material for so many of us to be this messed up.

  6. Is Dorries lying awake at night thinking of you? I doubt it: she hasn’t got such a conscience…

    Don’t lose heart: you have lots of people who care very much about this issue. Though I feel sorry that you have become the subject of so much attention, none of which you requested. I hope you are able to get your family and close friends wrapped around you for support and encouragement.

    Take care,

    X Clarissa

  7. Having read the background to all this last night, I’m even more angry. She singled you out and slandered you, with the help of Guido of course, because you had dared to criticise her previously. She should lose her job. I hope that she does not get away with this. I don’t think the general media is aware that she’s not only insulted anyone who is sick or disabled, and may or may not be claiming benefits as a result (that’s bad enough!), but that this was seemingly in revenge towards you personally. It’s all so incredible, how a person in her position could stoop so low. I’m glad that you found support on here and we’ll continue to support you x

  8. It’s absolutely disgusting that your own MP – the person who is supposed to represent your views – has caused you such anxiety and stress!

    Nadine is not fit to be a member of the human race, let alone a member of parliament!

    It’s good to see you have plenty of support – it restores my faith in my fellow humans.

    Here’s to you receiving an unconditional appology!

    • To be honest, I d rather she apologise to the thousands of people she has insulted, not me personally. This issue is bigger than just me now. You only have to look at twitter or read the blogs to see the upset she has caused.
      Thanks for your comment x

  9. As always a great post. She won’t be awake why should she. She doesn’t care about paon or distress she may cause. None of them do. They are interested in their own ppckets first and then serving people that share their greed motivated views. The disabled are an easy target and like all bullies she has attacked that target.

  10. It seems to me people more and more are taking swipes at the disabled. I feel that they are mostly stereotyping. Yes, there are some people who just love to take advantage of the system but, we can’t look at everyone who is collecting disability the same way. That is just absurd. I really hate to say it but a lot of it has to do with ignorance. People just need to look at things from a different perspective and possibly educate themselves on the topic.

  11. You’re a star Ms Cushion. xx

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